Do You Hear What I Hear?

…sounds like rain falling, storm clouds thundering, cat’s purring, and the wind blowing have basically faded from the aural tapestry of my surroundings…

Do You Hear What I Hear?

I hear music, mighty fine music
The murmur of a morning breeze up there
The rattle of the milkman on the stair…

That’s my favorite melody
You, my angel, phoning me
– Ella Fitzgerald, I Hear Music

I’m dropping my pen on the desktop, and it’s a making a satisfactory “thunk” sound. Subsequent footsteps followed by a door closed a little too heartily. I think I just regressed 43 years and am having way too much fun experiencing something a grown adult might take for granted. That is, my hearing. You see, for the last 10 years, I have slowly been losing hearing in both of my ears due to otosclerosis, which appears to run in my family. Consequently, sounds like rain falling, storm clouds thundering, cat’s purring, and the wind blowing have basically faded from the aural tapestry of my surroundings. Simple conversations have been challenging and usually involve a fair amount of lip reading. Concomitant with this hearing loss was a loud cacophony of tinnitus noises mainly evident in one ear, resulting in even more difficulty understanding what someone was saying.

After several years of my incomprehension annoying everyone greatly (or at least I think it did), I visited an audiologist and began wearing hearing aids. It takes a little time to adjust to the sudden increase in sounds, so the audiologist gave me an adjustment period before turning the volume up to the prescribed levels. This solution worked fine for a few years. Modern day hearing aids have some really cool features. For example, I can Bluetooth my iPhone to them using a Plantronics slider. I can also adjust the hearing aid settings to better experience music. If you have read my previous post, then you understand why I appreciate that feature. (In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if my hearing aids settings weren’t permanently stuck there).

Soon, though, I noticed that my hearing was declining again. Conversations were nearly impossible without seeing the speaker’s mouth. Frankly, if I took out my hearing aids, I could easily fall asleep with my husband’s band practicing in the next room. My audiologist recommended that I visit a specialist, who re-examined the pattern of my hearing loss and discussed various options. Ultimately, I ended up having a surgery called a stapedectomy. Basically, the surgeon operates on one ear through the canal using an operating microscope. A portion of the stapes (part of the bone structure in the middle ear responsible for conducting sound) is removed and replaced with an artificial piston. (For further reading: http://www.surgeryencyclopedia.com/Pa-St/Stapedectomy.html). The recovery period from the surgery itself is brief but complete healing can take months.

But now I get to one of the reasons I am writing this blog: Dealing with the fear of how well the operation really went that occurs during recovery. Naturally, I had a packet of instructions on how to care for myself during this period (i.e. no lifting heavy weights, no getting water in the ear, and no air travel for a few days, etc.); however, this information does not tell you what to expect hearing-wise between surgery and packing removal. And so began my exercise in Google-Fu. I think I must have researched a dozen articles or more on all the ins and outs of stapedectomies, including a PowerPoint presentation by a UT system surgeon explaining the various methods to conducting the surgery, the outcomes, and the possible complications. Now why, you ask, did you not simply ask your doctor about this? I did ask questions, but I don’t really think I could have anticipated at the time exactly how I was going to feel after the operation. When there is a wad of packing in your ear, it is very difficult to assess exactly how much you can hear, especially the week after the operation, and that can be frightening.

One site that was really helpful was http://www.healthboards.com/boards/hearing-disorders/ . Basically, members of this board share their post-operative experiences. Some appear to have had a positive outcome, and some had things go wrong. The main message I took home was that during recovery, I would slowly experience changes in my hearing, and that when the packing came out I would hear a lot more. This is exactly what happened. For the first few days, the tinnitus symphony acquired a few new noises (including one that I would describe as “artificial”) but then faded. Then low tones became very prominent. Driving my car on the tollway became a rather noisy experience not unlike when I first started wearing hearing aids. I was mainly hearing people talking with my left ear, but the tones sounded a bit delayed and robotic in the repaired one. It was sort of like when EV-9D9 puts the restraining bolt on R2-D2 in Return of the Jedi. The fun part was when I listened to music. The bass was very prominent, and the midtones were strangely detuned. This brought out some interesting interpretations of such songs as Lindsey Buckingham’s Soul Drifter, where the dissonance sort of added a surreal quality to the music.

Three weeks after the stapedectomy, my doctor removed the packing. The first thing I told him was that he was talking loudly (grin). While standing outside the clinic, waiting for the car, I noticed that I could hear everyone talking and that all the sounds were very vivid, sort of like taking a black and white photograph and adding in a swath of color. My eyes teared up a bit; my husband asked what was going on. You know what? I’m fine.

Home

…home is definitely a place filled with music…

“Home is where I want to be
Pick me up and turn me around
I feel numb, burn with a weak heart
Guess I must be having fun”
– This Must Be the Place, Talking Heads

Welcome to the revised edition of my blog! It’s been a long time in the making. So to catch you up, photographer Martina Korkmaz has started a women’s photographic storytelling group where we post a new subject every three weeks. This month’s subject is “home.” For me, home is definitely a place filled with music. My husband plays guitar in two bands, and they often rehearse in our living room. We’ve both been listening to and playing music for a long time, although my fingerstyle guitar is a bit out of practice. As a complementary activity to hubby’s musical interests, I often photograph his bands at their gigs (see Facebook page Cecil’s Truck). Photography is a long-standing hobby of mine, although I feel that only now am I really beginning to acquire a personal vision. So, this blog for me is an exercise in learning to express what I see and feel about life.

Welcome to my home.

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Coming soon to a blogspace near you

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The talented photographer Martina Korkmaz http://www.martinakorkmaz.com/theblog/ is starting a Photographic Storytelling group for all women interested in visual storytelling. The idea is to choose a theme that we would photograph and blog about every three weeks. Sounds like fun, and good practice as well. So, I’ve decided to brush the dust off of this old blog and get the creative juices boiling…which will probably involved caffeine. And sugar. Stay tuned for new posts!

The Future is Now

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originally penned on LiveBlog for FB friends on 2:10am November 25th, 2008

Mood: calm
Music: Driven Out – The Fixx

“So now I’m driving in my car, I used to be able to walk this far
Now I turn on the light. I used to be able to sleep at night.
I’m cooking with microwaves to warm up food not seen the soil
plugged into my TV I’m used to the lies they’re telling me
I hope it comes, it comes, it comes around.”

On a trip from Texas, at a Colorado stopover, I went to the sink in the women’s lavatory to wash my hands.

Think this is a strange sentence to start a blog with?

Well, everything I’m about to tell you is actually quite strange…to a person living in an earlier time. All I had to do was stick my hands under the spigot, where a stream of water automatically came out, and then dry them using a blower I never had to touch. I’m sure such a thing must have been written about at some point in time in popular science fiction. Convenience is often a theme in futuristic novels and also on TV. “Look at the dream world you could live in! Flying cars! Automatic appliances in the kitchen! Robots that will do your work for you!”

Know what? The Future is Now.

Sometimes it amazes me just how prescient some science fiction writers and movie makers were. Consider Jules Verne, who wrote stories in the 1860’s featuring submarines, spaceships to the moon, and travel around the world by flight, before they had been invented. Or think about Fritz Lang’s Metropolis (1927), a silent movie about a grand city in the future where working class and white collar classes were separated from each other above and below the ground. Metropolis featured many amazing things now typical today. For example, it depicted skyscrapers, neon lights, travel by airplane and monorail, telecommunication (complete with video), machines to take over the work of man, and somewhat revealing women’s fashion.

Once, it was thought that the invention of machines, electricity, and the rise of industry would result in a shorter and more efficient workday. What the dreamers didn’t foretell is that these inventions actually resulted in more work, because doing the work became faster and easier. As a matter of fact, I’m sitting here at my amazing calculator (also known as a desktop PC), writing this blog to people that I know and don’t know, by the light of an electric lamp containing energy saving bulbs. My cats (one of whom is on my lap) no longer need to wander outside to find fresh mice to dine upon, as I feed them a pre-made food tailored to meet their nutritional needs. And heaven forbid there should ever be a fire, as I would forget the family jewels and take my surrogate children with me.

There’s good and bad about living in the future. It enriches our life on some levels. Everyone is as close as an email or cel phone or even Facebook. I have made a new category of internet “friend” that wasn’t possible 40 years ago. I could even hop into my aerodynamic, computerized, gasoline-fed Honda coupe and, assuming you live close enough, visit you. Thank goodness I have no need of cranking and heating up the boiler to get it to start.

On the other hand, we are all becoming more alienated from each other. When I pick up the phone and dial the number of a business, do I hear a person’s voice or just a recording of one? Does my internet avatar reflect some aspect of me or does it simply serve as a mask so that I can remain safely anonymous? And how easily can you convey an emotion in text? I have no doubt that some people will read some of my blog posts as self-pitying drivel and others will say it is philosophical. But how do you know which it is when I haven’t actually spoken a word?

Now that the future has caught up with the present, what will our generation’s future be?